“Your Spouse Needs to Hear – 3 Things”

3 Things Your Spouse Needs to Hear

These simple, heartfelt statements will deepen your love for each other.
By Mark Haines

 

I did

At our wedding ceremony, I chose you to be my spouse.
I promised to live with you according to God’s holy Word.
  On that life-changing day, I promised to love you,
to comfort you,
to honor and keep you.
I swore to stand by you
for better or worse,
in sickness and in health.
At our wedding I renounced all others
and promised to give myself to only you, so long as we both shall live.
The pastor said, “Will you take this one?”
and I did.

I do

Today, I choose you to be my spouse.
I promise to continue living with you according to God’s holy Word.
On this ordinary day of our life together, I promise to keep on loving you,
to keep on comforting you,
to keep on honoring and keeping you.
Today, I am standing by you
for better or worse,
in sickness and in health.
Today and every day, I renounce all others
(no websites, no magazines, no videos, no lingering leers, or secret meetings).
I give myself to you and only you, so long as we both shall live.
People may ask, “Will you take this one?”
and, you must know, I do.

I always will

Tomorrow and every day God gives us, I will choose you to be my spouse.
I will continue living with you according to God’s holy Word.
Every day we share by God’s grace, I promise to always love you,
to always comfort you,
to to always honor and keep you.
As long as I have breath, I will stand by you
for better or worse,
in sickness and in health.
I will always renounce all others
and always give myself to only you, so long as we both shall live.
Our great-grandchildren may ask, “Will you take this one?”
and, you can count on this, I always will.

I did.  I do.  I always will.  Your spouse needs to hear these three things and you need to say them as you gaze into his or her eyes.

 

© 2012 Mark Haines. Used with permission.

Mark Haines is a pastor in the Great Lakes Bay region of Michigan. This article originally appeared on his blog, Q&A with Pastor Mark Haines.

FamilyLife is a donor-supported ministry offering practical and biblical resources and events to help you build a godly marriage and family.

 


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“Pass this Article on to your FRIENDS”

 

This article is adapted from Dennis and Barbara Rainey’s new book, Preparing for Marriage Devotions for Couples, published by Regal Books.

For many years, e-mails have circulated the country with the outline of a speech attributed to Microsoft founder Bill Gates titled “11 Rules You Won’t Learn in School About Life.”  It turns out that Gates never wrote these words nor did he deliver the speech—it was all taken from an article written by Charles J. Sykes in 1996. And it really doesn’t matter that Gates wasn’t involved, because the piece does a great job of unmasking how feel-good, politically-correct teachings have created a generation of kids with a false concept of reality.

I thought I’d not only pass on these rules, but also make a few of my own—on marriage.

First, here are the 11 rules of life that you won’t learn in school:

Rule 1: Life is not fair—get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will not make $60,000 per year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping—they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault.  So don’t whine about your mistakes; learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you “find yourself.” Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

Sage advice.

After reading this piece, I was inspired to take a crack at something I’d been chewing on:  “11 Rules on Marriage You Won’t Learn in School.”

Rule 1: Marriage isn’t about your happiness.  It’s not about you getting all your needs met through another person.  Practicing self-denial and self-sacrifice, patience, understanding, and forgiveness are the fundamentals of a great marriage.  If you want to be the center of the universe, then there’s a much better chance of that happening if you stay single.

Rule 2: Getting married gives a man a chance to step up and finish growing up.  The best preparation for marriage for a single man is to man up now and keep on becoming the man God created him to be.

Rule 3: It’s okay to have one rookie season, but it’s not okay to repeat your rookie season.  You will make rookie mistakes in your first year of marriage; the key is that you don’t continue making those same mistakes in year five, year 10, or year 20 of your marriage.

Rule 4: It takes a real man to be satisfied with and love one woman for a lifetime.  And it takes a real woman to be content with and respect one man for a lifetime.

Rule 5: Love isn’t a feeling.  Love is commitment.  It’s time to replace the “D-word”—divorce—with the “C-word”—commitment.  Divorce may feel like a happy solution, but it results in long-term toxic baggage.  You can’t begin a marriage without commitment.  You can’t sustain one without it either.  A marriage that goes the distance is really hard work.  If you want something that is easy and has immediate gratification, then go shopping or play a video game.

Rule 6: Online relationships with old high school or college flames, emotional affairs, sexual affairs, and cohabiting are shallow and illegitimate substitutes for the real thing.  Emotional and sexual fidelity in marriage are the real thing.

Rule 7: Women spell romance R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P.  Men spell romance S-E-X.  If you want to speak romance to your spouse, become a student of your spouse, enroll in a lifelong “Romantic Language School,” and become fluent in your spouse’s language.

Rule 8: During courtship, opposites attract.  After marriage, opposites can repel each another.  You married your spouse because he/she is different.  Differences are God’s gift to you to create new capacities in your life.  Different isn’t wrong, it’s just different.

Rule 9: Pornography robs men of a real relationship with a real person and it poisons real masculinity, replacing it with the toxic killers of shame, deceit, and isolation.  Pornography siphons off a man’s drive for intimacy with his wife.  Marriage is not for wimps.  Accept no substitutes.

Rule 10: As a home is built, it will reflect the builder.  Most couples fail to consult the Master Architect and His blueprints for building a home.  Instead a man and woman marry with two sets of blueprints (his and hers). As they begin building, they discover that a home can’t be built from two very different sets of blueprints.

Rule 11: How you will be remembered has less to do with how much money you make or how much you accomplish and more with how you have loved and lived.

Pass on the rules to a friend who will enjoy them!


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How to make a graham cracker sukkah

 

How to make a graham cracker sukkah

by Jonathan Fong

Posted on Oct. 13, 2016 at 5:17 pm

Photos by Jonathan Fong

Photos by Jonathan Fong

Last week, in anticipation of Sukkot, I wrote about how to make asukkah that fits on balconies and small patios. This week, let’s shrink it down even more with a tabletop sukkah made with graham crackers. It’s a great holiday decoration for your home, and it’s also edible and fun to make with the kids.

 

 

 

What you’ll need:

– Graham crackers
– Betty Crocker Cookie Icing*
– Plate or charger
– Pretzel rods
– Herbs
– Trail mix

*The secret ingredient that holds this graham cracker sukkah together is cookie icing. But not all cookie icing is created equal. For the icing to hold the crackers together like glue, it needs to dry solidly. Many brands of icing stay gelatinous. That’s why I recommend Betty Crocker Cookie Icing, which dries hard in about 15 minutes.

1. Adhere crackers to the plate

With the icing, glue two graham crackers side by side to the surface of a plate to form a square “floor.” This base adds stability to the sukkah.

2. Attach a wall corner

Starting at one edge of the floor, glue two graham crackers vertically to form a corner, applying icing to the edges where the crackers touch — at the corner joint and at the base.

3. Complete the walls

Continue adding graham crackers around the base until you have three walls, applying icing to all the edges that touch. You’ll need two crackers per wall.

4. Add the roof

For the roof, position pretzel rods across the top of the walls, gluing them in place with icing. You can also use other long objects like carrot sticks and breadsticks.

5. Cover with greenery

Mimicking the covering of the s’chach, place herbs on top of the pretzel rods. Thyme, rosemary, oregano or bay leaves all are great choices, as they hold their shape and won’t wilt as they dry out.

6. Build some furniture

Break off smaller pieces of graham cracker to make a miniature table and chairs, gluing the pieces together with icing. Then sprinkle some trail mix around the sukkah for decorative ground covering, and you’re done.


Jonathan Fong is the author of “Walls That Wow,” “Flowers That Wow” and “Parties That Wow,” and host of “Style With a Smile” on YouTube. You can see more of his do-it-yourself  projects atjonathanfongstyle.com.


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“First Published book by ALYSSA ALDRICH”

“Do you have a “FAVORITE BOOK””  that you would not part with?” – – “NOT… even for a MILLION DOLLARS – – not even for  ALL    the  “TEA in CHINA?” – – 

So…  here is the  first book published by my GRAND-DAUGHTER, Alyssa ALDRICH and the title is “ANIMALS” – a subject that for her age  – – she was very informative about in her book – – her very own drawings with beautiful colors  and in her own handwriting full descriptions – – and she did this all by herself.

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“HERE is the page in Miss Alyssa’s book – –  that I KNOW  – – and without a doubt – – would…  WIN any PRIZE  – – offered in any CONTEST… for BEST PICTURE of a LOVED GRANDMA!”   – – This drawing of “ME”  – – is better than any of the best of best cameras – – could capture  of “ME” and that would be without breaking!”

“This is soooooooooo “ME”  – – what more can I say?”

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Just one of the stories from Miss Alyssa’s book on “ANIMALS” – – just so you can see how well she writes about her subject – the information – and grammar and spelling  – sure is better than I did when in the second grade of school.

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This book  by Alyssa and the book by her sister Jaime  – – are just some of the creative works  – –  that I feel is important to very young children.  As a PARENT and GRAND-PARENT – – it is a must to help our children before they enter into the school system to give them opportunities with lots of paper and pencils  and coloring books – – to help them develop ideas  they have by putting on paper their creations  and when ever possible  – – our posting the pieces of ART  on the refrigerator or some place in the HOME – – where we can give  to our children the affirmative praise to motivate them to develop  their natural abilities  – – that were instilled in them … by  our loving CREATOR.


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“First Published book by Jaime Aldrich”

This is the cover of the book written and illustrated with her very own drawings – – the title is “Changes Around Us” – – and the author is Miss Jaime Aldrich – – my Grand-Daughter.

 

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Since … little Miss Jaime’s book is about the  changing  “SEASONS ” just thought  that I would included  a page from her book and this page  talks about this very “TIME” of the year that we are in now… “FALL” – – and on the page opposite this writing is…  one of  her  very own drawings   – – to show us what the “FALL TIME” looks like and what we might be  doing   – – at this time of the year.

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This is one of the best “projects”  – – that the SCHOOL System  can offer for the very young children – – something CREATIVE – – using the natural talents that a young child has –  – some way of expressing their use of language, writing and story telling – – in a natural and imaginative way for their age – – and for those who like to draw and color or paint – – all qualities to spark a development – – something that they may want to explore further with training  – – working into a career  – – at least…  this is something to be proud of – – for all the days of their LIFE!

 


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“OCTOBER is a good TIME to THINK”

 

 

 

Everybody has a preference when it comes to “Music” and what “Music” motivates them during the seasons of their life. During the ‘baby years’ usually all you hear is the standard  ‘baby talk-type ‘ sing-songs and a whole lot of  ‘dada’ and ‘la-la’ with no real  thought as to what the ‘baby’ will really pick up as good music.

My case, my Mother liked light ‘Opera’ and had a very good voice and knew the foreign languages and would sing for all to hear. When there was good music to hear on the radio, we would hear that and of course she would sing along. Music and words were tops in her book! I do not believe that there was a word she did not know. When I was in High School, and in some classes, especially Biology, there were words I could hardly say, and spelling was out of the question. But, never could any of my problems stump my Mother, she knew the “how and why” and all about the words which I never could get to first base with.

Music was something else! I just loved the 1950’s jazz, and to be able to dance to and sing the words with the music, I was in “Seventh Heaven!” I always wanted my own old time “Jukebox”, but where would I put it? Also, when you travel – where in the world would you put the jukebox, and would it survive cross-country moving?

Most important, Clair de Lune is one piece of music that was a favorite of Mom’s and I always think of her when I hear it. I am making a list of special music I would like for my family to play to remember me and to play each of the songs I selected at least three times, so that wherever I am, then I will hear and enjoy the remembrance! Music being that part of the soul  that transcends Love …. for all eternity!

 


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