Grandma’s Stories

Feb 9th “I have a “CALL” – – for the “BIRTHDAY BOY”

“The telephone has been ringing – – and ringing and just ringing – – just can not figure out – – “WHO” in the world gave the date of my “BIRTHDAY”  – – –  out to everyone?” 

“OPERATOR” – – Could you kindly… hold some of these calls – – till I get a chance to get dressed?” – -“I hate to say this on the telephone … to a strange  person – – but – – I am still in my PJ’s – – I will have to get dressed for the occasion – – my “BIRTHDAY!” 

“ARE you calling me?”   “How in the world….  did you know  – – where I would be?”  –  “Can you do me a favor – –  kindly…  tell the people that are calling…  to wish me a “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”  – – that…   right NOW – – I am hanging out with some of my “old”  friends – – from way back and when – – that if they can call back on my “800” number – – I would like to talk with everyone – – and do some real  “catching up”  on all those “GOOD OLD DAYS” – – unless there  happens to be a real emergency – – I’ll take the calls in my office!”

Feb 8th FEBRUARY BIRTHDAY… “on the LUCKY day…13”

Happy Birthday to all the FEBRUARY SPECIAL PEOPLE!”

“Do NOT… try to hide… We find you and post your PHOTO even though “YOU” – – –  little TOMMY… thinks we can not find him…  there just are NOT enough “covers” in that bed – – to keep us from taking your PHOTO….

“YOU  remember the old program…. “Candid CAMERA” – – – well  NOW we got YOU – – and the whole wide world will see  – – just exactly where you have been spending so much of your TIME!”

“Our program is to …’unCOVER’ – – that which  – – and or WHO  – – tries to hide”

Jan 12th “Information” Here are your ANSWERS!

“There are things we hear and do – – and NOW – – YOU will know WHY!”

We give “THANKS” to TOM McClarren – – we know he will find the ANSWER to all those things we would like to know WHY – – but we did not know where to find the correct answer?

   VERY INTERESTING FACTOIDS       

 

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green. 

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of keeping a medium-size dog to the age of 11: $16,400

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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades – King David

Hearts – Charlemagne

Clubs – Alexander, the Great

Diamonds – Julius Caesar 

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Only 2 people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776 John Hancock and Charles Thomson.

Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later. 

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Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace

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Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?  Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter ‘A’?

A. One thousand

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Women invented bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers.

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Honey is the only food that doesn’t spoil?

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There are more collect calls on Father’s Day than any other day of the year.

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In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,

making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence, the phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’

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It was accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father supplies his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. 

Mead is a honey beer & because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. 

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 

‘Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ . . . It’s where the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’  comes from.

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Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups.

When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this practice. 

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2017 when…

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have email addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries…

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving home without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first 20-60 years of your life, is now a cause for panic & you turn around to go & get it . 

9. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

​10. Your wondering what kind of president we will have after     Jan. 20th!​

Nov 6th “One Day… with Young TOM”

“YES… I’m still waiting for my ride – –  Sometimes I just have to wait – –  as my RIDE – – will not WAIT… for me!”

“Sure is good that I have a big sister, Mary Ellen… and she   does like to cook – – – she likes to make “PAN-CAKES” – – she was making “PAN-CAKES” years ago for  – – Virgil and Ronald Struck…. they were younger than us and lived across the street.Before breakfast…. I do have to make myself ready for the NEW DAY – –

This is Me, myself – – just have to get each and every hair  – – in the right place – – and “YES” – – that is a CIGAR – and why would I smoke a CIGAR??? – – even I do not know why I would have thought – – that  – – that would have been the THING… to do way back and then!

“OH… How can you stand there…  and call me…  so many times… I heard you the first times!”

“I will call you in about five minutes – – when…  I will be ready to eat?” “This getting up so early is wearing me out – – sure will be glad when the day comes – – and I will not have to get up … so early!”

Evidently… someone did not hear the “ALARM –  CLOCK” – – so it looks  – – like I should take some PHOTOS  of little “TOMMY” – – so I can show him – – when the occasion occurs… – – just how difficult it is to get him up and out of the bed – – and follow him around – – just to be sure “TOMMY”  is able to get himself – – all ready for his ride to work.

“What does some-one do… when their little brother, TOMMY – – can not hear the alarm clock ring and ring…  AND  “RING” for the over – – the  one-hundredth TIME?”

Everyone does have an “internal clock” – – but when is it that it finally kicks in and wakes us…  in TIME to get ready…  for WORK?